Anyone who's ever been to Miami knows that Joe's is a staple in any Jewish family's diet. One of my closest friends and host for the majority of my stay in Miami has an "in" at Joe's -- her parents have formed relationships with the elitist maître d's who allow them to skip the often hours-long wait for a table ready in fifteen minutes or less. Whenever my friend travels home for a break or for the summer, she likes to sample flavors from many restaurants (you can see why we're friends), but Joe's is always on her list. It isn't trendy -- there is no DJ and the decor is minimal -- but it's been around forever and is always, always, always worth it. Even the couple waiting for an hour and a half who were seated after our party of seven would tell you the same.
The menu is relatively standard for a seafood restaurant, save for several notable exceptions: first, the stone crabs, as you might imagine, are distinctively delicious. Second, the chicken breast on the menu is priced at $5.95. Keep in mind, Joe's isn't cheap, which goes to show how few people actually go there and order chicken. If you're reading this and you ate the chicken that night (you know who you are), shame on you.
I began my dinner at Joe's with "Stuffy's," a house special that consists of baked Quahog clams (Peter Griffin?), Parmesan cheese, bacon, celery, and onion. My oh my.
I didn't use the side of melted butter because the clams were fried, and I'm trying to watch my figure (as you can tell by the food blog). Next time I'm at Joe's, I'll order these to share, as they were much too filling as an appetizer. A bit greasy, as well, but I do love shellfish.
Next came the crème de la crème of seafood - the stone crabs. My mahoff friend and I split a large order and ate fiercely as the rest of our friends marveled at the crabs in all of their glory. "Can I try?" became the most frequently used phrase of the evening, and after a while, just like they tell you in D.A.R.E., I said no.
Next to the crabs you can see a bit of hashed brown potatoes, our starch of the evening and a wonderful complement to the cold, rubbery goodness of the shellfish. We also chose spinach as our vegetable, a frequent Flavoriser favorite, even though it sometimes gets stuck between my teeth.
I've used this word before to describe food and I'll use it again to elucidate just how fabulous our apple pie really was -- dank. I swore when we ordered dessert that I wouldn't touch it (because of my aforementioned "diet"), but what do you know, I ate almost the entire thing. Sorry guys.
I don't know about you, but I prefer my apple pie at least 60% gooey (clearly this is something I've thought about). This dessert fulfilled my target ratio and then some (sorry, the finance jokes sometimes force themselves in). It looks almost as good as it tasted.
My meal crescendoed just before my stomach was about to implode. As I write this article, I'm currently in Boca Raton and, after having eaten stone crabs this weekend from another seafood restaurant, I can confidently say that Joe's trumps the rest.
My friends and family know that wherever I go, whatever I do, food is always at the forefront of my thoughts. My tastes are varied and my cravings are many, but when in Miami, Joe's will be my "drug" of choice.
Dine at Joe's Stone Crab:
11 Washington Avenue
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 673 - 0365
